Greek life is on its way out. Thanks to a war against fraternities and sororities waged by the Office of the Dean of Students — sometimes over legitimate concerns, sometimes not — the College has made it clear that Greek organizations are unwelcome on this campus in their current form. Sororities are being forced to nationalize, and fraternities are increasingly hindered in their efforts to cut costs for their members.
Greek organizations must now pay, at minimum, $150 to host all-campus parties despite being required to host at least one per semester. Hamilton has also done away with the traditional practice used by some fraternities and sororities to pay their national dues through an added tuition cost, increasing financial burden on students in those organizations. Greek life in its current form is on its last legs.
However, I do not think that the College wants to completely get rid of Greek life. A large percentage of Hamilton’s donations come from former Greek organization members and I don’t believe we will see a day that the administration turns down a source of donations. I think the image that Office of the Dean of Students has in its mind for Greek life at Hamilton is a gallery that contains large cardboard cutouts of each organizations’ crests with collection boxes below.
As an active member of a Greek organization, I say we scrap it. Go underground. Dissolve your chapters.
Sure, the history of underground Greek organizations here at Hamilton is not exactly “clean.” Historically, if a group has gone underground it has been because they have done some truly horrible stuff to warrant it. There’s a really terrible precedent set, and it’s just not good optics. So I propose an alternative.
In order to make sure that your organization can still operate on campus, even as you slink into the shadows where the administration can never find you, everyone in your organization should find an activity that allows you to operate as a school-sanctioned social group. One possibility: put your chapter’s dues into getting the best training possible and take over a varsity sports team. Shove out all the existent, non-member players through intimidation and become your own autonomous group with no national dues and the ability to haze with no oversight or threat of nationalization. The only catch with this is that our collective beer bellies and smoking habits might be a significant hurdle to becoming D3 athletes with little to no experience in competitive athletics, but these are semantic hurdles that can be overcome.
If you want to escape the prying eyes of the administration, and your Greek organization feels under attack, have your pledging consist of two-a-day sessions at the gym, choose a varsity team that’s easily accessible (like football or crew), and make it your own. It’s foolproof. Only a matter of time before the Dean of Students office charges $40 per baseball.
Slowly, without much fanfare, Greek life is being pushed off campus. It started with residential houses being bought out in the 1990s, continued with off-campus housing being disallowed just six years ago, and today, rumors are circulating that the College attempted to buy out Greek-maintained houses downtown. If the Dean of Students wants to crush Greek life on campus, fine. Go for it. Eliminate Greek life. Better yet, stomp out all social groups. Institute a curfew. Make this place dry. Give RAs tasers. But if you are going to shove out fraternities and sororities, at least don’t be so passive aggressive about it. Own it.
