From Where I Sit is an ongoing column associated with the ESOL program that aims to share the stories and experiences of international students.

My family’s cultural journey started with my grandmother. My brave, resilient, strong grandmother started a new legacy for my family. My grandmother is the reason why my family is here today. She is my family’s anchor and the reason for everything in our lives. At times when my family wonders, “Why do I have to keep going?” “Why do I have to work so hard?” “Why must I strive to be happy?” the answer is always: her.

I am now a student attending Hamilton College. My grandmother’s sacrifices have led me directly to this institution. My life as an 18-year-old and my grandmother’s life as an 18-year-old are poles apart. My life is focused on going to school and doing well in my academics. I spend my days in my dorm room, clicking on a zoom link to go to class. My grandmother did not have these advantages; her focus was on making enough money in order to feed her family and get by. Instead of going to class, she walked miles and miles from the village to the city and back, selling food, or pots and pans. The weight on my shoulders includes doing well in college so I can do well in my life. My grandmother, on the other hand, had the weight of her mother and two younger siblings’ wellbeing. I am able to have such a simple and privileged life now because of her sacrifices. If it were not for her taking the Herculean step to come to America, her life as an 18-year-old could have been mine. She did not want that life for her children and that is why she made the bold decision to make a new life.

My grandmother left the small poverty-stricken village in Vietnam after the Vietnam War and she came to the land of opportunity, the United States of America. She escaped the hardships of her country to face the hardships of another. Imagine being 50 years old, leaving the country you called home, abandoning what you knew, learning enough in a new language to barely survive in a new country. Facing discrimination from strangers, and mockery and criticism from the loved ones left behind. She arrived in the US all alone, with only a dream.

Everything she did in Vietnam for her siblings, she was now doing in a new nation. Once again, she walked miles tirelessly to a factory and worked 12 hours per day for $5.00 per hour to save money to bring her children to America. As always, she had the weight of her family’s future on her shoulders, so nothing could stop her. She worked hard and persevered to bring her son and daughter-in-law over as well.

In the following years in America, her son married my mother and they had four beautiful children. Everything was going well. They had sustainable jobs and my family was happy. We had everything we needed. However, that did not last long because my father left us. I was too young to remember, but I see the scars he left on my family to this day. After he left, my grandmother stepped up even further to help my mother raise us. When my mother was working most days, my grandmother would be the one taking care of us. Although my family is still hurt by my father’s actions, I cannot imagine what my family would do without my grandmother. In a way, my grandmother healed our wounds and relieved the pain inflicted upon us by our father’s absence.

My grandmother raised her four grandchildren and taught us the meaning of “never give up,” no matter the circumstances, no matter the uncertainty that presides over you. There is no time for doubting yourself when you could be using that time to change your life and the lives of others. As an immigrant, she saw each moment as a chance to grow, love, care, and spread joy. My grandmother has always worked for others and because of this, I have so much more of a reason to carry out the dreams that she still has for her grandchildren. I want to develop the work ethic my grandmother had, to persevere, sacrifice for the better, and understand one’s confidence and values enough not to be hindered by the words of others. She has understood that to achieve one’s dreams, sometimes you must stand alone even when it is difficult. Most importantly, she taught us that you should be strong enough to face your challenges for the better, and you must be strong enough to do so with hope and a positive attitude.

My life and challenges are different from hers. I now have my own set of difficulties that I must overcome in order to create a better legacy for my family. When I lose myself during times of fear and doubt and say, “Why must I continue?” I remember my grandmother. My grandmother did not carry the weight of the lives of others for the entirety of her life just so I could complain about mine. My grandmother, and the values she taught make me look forward to each new day, even when the days ahead are tough. She is the reason why I persevere no matter the circumstances.

My grandmother is the light and pride of my family. She single-handedly changed the course of my family lineage by having the courage to immigrate to a new country. She is my family’s base. She holds us together both when my home is fragile and when my home is stable. Her story changed my family’s life. Her legacy will be shared with future generations to hear and learn why it is important not to be afraid of change because we have no idea what we are made of unless and until we venture outside our familiar world and embrace the life we are meant to live.