Name and year:

Sam Selesnick ’23

Hometown:

Pleasantville, N.Y.

Home on Campus:

Root 327.

Major:

Literature.

Turn on?

Messy buns.

Turn off?

Fans of the Starbucks secret menu.

If you had to describe yourself as the love child of any two musicians, whom would you pick and why?

Ezra of Vampire Weekend and David Byrne.

What advertising slogan best describes your life?

“Off the Wall.”

What TV genre best describes you?

Shark Infomercial.

What’s the best pick-up line you’ve ever used/had used on you?

“We have the same math teacher.”

What’s your type?

Everything or sesame.

What are three things you cannot live without?

Rice cakes, friends laughing, and warm clothing.

If you were in any social space, what would it be?

A quiet coffee shop.

Where do you go when you want to be alone?

The glen.

If you could join one group on campus, what would it be?

Karen Leach’s COVID Task Force.

What’s your Patronus and why?

A stag cuz it’s tattooed on my body.

If you could break one rule at Hamilton and get away with it, which would you choose?

Walk into the front entrance of Commons.

What would you give a thumbs up?

Iced coffees on cold days.

What would you give a thumbs down?

Sleeping with socks.

Who would you say is your campus crush?

The person who has no idea that they are my campus crush.

Who would you say is your faculty crush?

Marge.

What would your perfect date be?

Chipotle and a whole bottle of fermented red liquid in a park of sorts.

What is the weirdest thing currently in your room?

Aidan Holmgren.

If you were a food, which would you be and why?

A sweet potato fry because I’m funny and oddly skinny.

Lights on or lights off?

Lights off.

Favorite campus study spot?

By the elevator.

What’s the last lie you told?

No, I’m not in the bathroom right now.

What was your first thought this morning?

I need to pee (that’s my thought most mornings).

What’s the meaning of life?

To stay warm and to find people who care about you.

Which American historical figure are you attracted to and why?

Florence Pugh’s character in Little Women, assuming that she was real.