Photo courtesy of Emmy Goodwin ‘22.
Name:
Emmy Goodwin ’22
Pronouns
: She/her/hers.
Hometown:
Wilton, CT.
Home on Campus:
Babbitt.
Major:
Sociology, ES minor
Turn on?
Grape Juice Boys.
Turn off?
Thin-soled sneakers.
If you were a dorm which would you be and why?
Third floor Dunham because it’s hot.
If you had to describe yourself as the love child of any two musicians, who would you pick and why?
Bruno Mars and Miley Cyrus.
What advertising slogan best describes your life?
The quicker picker-upper.
What TV genre best describes you?
Sci-fi thriller.
What’s the best pick-up line you’ve ever used/had used on you?
Why did you do that when I told you not to.
What’s your type?
Anything with a pulse.
What are three things you cannot live without?
My virtual reality goggles, the Elder Wand and Courtney Connerly.
If you were any social space, what would it be?
KJ Atrium, duh.
Where do you go when you want to be alone?
I’m never alone at this institution.
If you could join one group on campus, what would it be?
Special K.
What’s your Patronus and why?
A panther because I’m outspoken, adventurous, and somewhat risky with a splash of both confidence and humility.
If you could break one rule at Hamilton and get away with it, which would you choose?
Scaling the chapel.
What would you give a thumbs down?
Unitards.
Who would you say is your campus crush?
Joseph Han.
Who would you say is your faculty crush?
Erica Gerimia-Mathers.
What would your perfect date be?
Me, you and a bottle of Whispering Angel.
What is the weirdest thing currently in your room?
A hand-knit plague doctor stuffed animal.
If you could remake the points system, what would be the number one offense?
Sitting alone at a square table in commons.
If you were a food, which would you be and why?
Gouda because I get better with age.
Lights on or lights off?
Dimmed.
Favorite campus study spot?
David Wippman’s House.
What’s the last lie you told?
I love you, brother.
What was your first thought this morning?
I need a room full of mirrors so I can be surrounded by winners.
What’s the meaning of life?
noun, plural lives [lahyvz]. The condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
Photo courtesy of Joseph Han ‘22.
Name:
Joseph Han ’22
Pronouns:
He/Him/His.
Hometown:
New York, NY.
Home on Campus:
Third Floor Dunham.
Major:
History.
Turn on?
Thick Thighs save lives: see HS’22 for reference.
Turn off?
Kinky Vegetarians.
If you were a dorm which would you be and why?
Bundy because while I’m no one’s first choice, I do take up an obnoxious amount of space and most sophomores know me for at least a semester.
If you had to describe yourself as the love child of any two musicians, who would you pick and why?
Taylor Swift and Meatball.
What advertising slogan best describes your life?
Where’s the beef?
What TV genre best describes you?
The first 10 minutes of a porno.
What’s the best pick-up line you’ve ever used/had used on you?
Hey buddy your friend is pretty cute, mind giving me her number? -My Doordash Driver.
What’s your type?
Medium ugly white men who can mansplain NFTs to me.
What are three things you cannot live without?
The thirty pieces of silver I found under a tree, the Communist Manifesto, and Resident Plant Daddy Wriley Nelson.
If you were any social space, what would it be?
Dunham 3rd floor because it’s never actually popping, it’s just five freshman screaming Olivia Rodrigo.
Where do you go when you want to be alone?
Bundy 201, it is hard to find another place that has seen less women.
If you could join one group on campus, what would it be?
The Sisters of Gamma, only so that I could inform people that our second letter is Xi. We are the Sisters of Gamma Xi.
What would you give a thumbs up?
KJ Atrium.
What would you give a thumbs down?
People who actually do work in KJ Atrium.
Who would you say is your campus crush?
Eleanor Elizabeth Whelan, she’s just so cool.
Who would you say is your faculty crush?
Either Professor Trivedi or that really smart former alumni philosophy professor with great cheekbones.
What would your perfect date be?
A bachelor/bachelorette style round robin because I’m better by comparison.
What is the weirdest thing currently in your room?
A ripped up Taylor Swift poster I have been trying to revive through alchemy.
If you were a food, which would you be and why?
The chips in the KJ vending machine because I am a mixed bag.
Lights on or lights off?
Lights off.
What historical figure are you attracted to and why?
Pontius Pilate because we stan men with good personal hygiene.