For this ranking, the main factor will be taste, but I will also take into account the time to receive the item.

1: Philly

Ah, the Philly. Easily the best item on the menu at diner. It is the hottest item you can get, the cheese melts perfectly and the veggies are actually cooked down nicely. While the Philly is one of the items that takes a while to get, it is entirely worth the wait, which really is not that long for what you get.

2: Black Russian

All the components of the Black Russian work perfectly together. You can count me in for anything with crunchy toasted bread, but unlike its panini pressed counterpart, the Tuscan, the cold cuts in the Black Russian are easy to bite through — unlike the grilled chicken on too many occasions. The pesto mayo is also the perfect condiment as it gives the sandwich a nice herbaceous flavor that pairs well with the melty swiss cheese. The only thing keeping this from the first spot is sometimes they do not toast it long enough and the cold cuts are still somewhat cold.

3: Grilled Caesar Wrap

I decided to separate the grilled and tender wraps because the flavors are too different. The grilled chicken is the only choice for a caesar wrap. The wrap is not crazy filling, which is always nice because it leaves room for fries, and the chewiness of the grilled chicken compliments the crispy croutons well. Also, the grilled chicken adds a nice warmth to the wrap you simply cannot get with tenders. The grilled caesar is the perfect simple, quick lunch.

4: Turkey Wrap

The turkey wrap is a criminally underrated item. The turkey wrap may just be the fastest thing on the menu and it does not taste like it. As the only item on the menu that comes with the diner honey mustard (not that radioactive crap from the Heinz bottle), it is worth ordering for that alone. Beyond the honey mustard, they give you a nice amount of turkey and the veggies are a nice addition. Just make sure to ask for light or no onions as you could end up with a whole raw onion. The only thing keeping the turkey wrap down from a top three spot is that it is cold.

5: Tender Guapo

Next up on the list is the Tender Guapo. While grilled chicken is the perfect match for a caesar, tenders are that for the Guapo. The only item to include cucumbers and avocado, the Guapo is packed with veggies which generally pair nicely with the sauce. My main complaint about the Guapo is the inconsistency. It is always too many veggies, not enough avocado, not enough sauce. For this reason, it loses out to the items listed above.

6: Tuscan

The Tuscan was difficult to place because the flavor is absolutely there. The vinaigrette is unique and the pesto mayo works wonders. I just cannot get over the chicken to sandwich ratio and the overall structural integrity of the sandwich. When I enjoy a Tuscan I basically have 50 percent of the bites with chicken and 50 percent without, which is a totally unacceptable ratio. The chicken breast could easily fit on half of the sandwich alone. In terms of structural integrity, it is just a mess. The vinaigrette and tomatoes makes everything slippery and you should consider yourself lucky if you can eat this without the chicken falling out. The flavor is what keeps it just above tenders in my opinion.

7: Tenders

For this list, I am putting tenders right in the middle. Tenders is a mid order and everything above it, in my opinion, is worth ordering. For anything below, you may as well just get tenders.

8: Grilled Guapo

If there is one thing that does not need heat it is the Guapo. For some reason, the Guapo sauce reacts poorly to the heat of the grilled chicken, often becoming liquid and gross. Additionally, taking out the tenders loses that crisp factor that cucumbers just simply cannot replace like a crouton can. Order this with tenders.

9: Tender Caesar

The tender Caesar might just be the blandest most unexciting order you can get. We do not need the crisp from the tenders because we can have the seasoned croutons. For some reason, when you order tenders they come out warm, not hot, and this wrap needs the heat from the grilled chicken. Just order it grilled — you will not be disappointed. The grilled Guapo may be messy and inconsistent but it will always have flavor, unlike the tender caesar.

10: Parm

This may be controversial, but the parm is trash and should be taken off the menu. Serving us two chicken tenders instead of three, which comes in an order of just tenders, is fine when you are filling up the rest of the space with veggies as they do in the wraps. However, the parm takes those huge tasteless sub rolls and throws two tenders on there that barely cover half the surface area of the bread. Literally half of your bites in the parm could be mid marinara sauce and bread — that is it. If the parm had an extra tender and an extra slice of cheese it may not be so bad, but in its current state, get it off the menu.

11: Veggie Wrap

If you are a vegetarian this is obviously going to be number one on your list, but for me it is ten. Simply put, I am never going to order something from diner that does not have protein in it. I do still think it has a place on the menu for our vegetarian friends.

12: Burger

I do not care how this item tastes; it takes too long. Not only are you suffering while sitting there waiting for this, but so are the rest of us while you hold up the line. Just do not order this, get a Philly instead; it is faster and tastes better.