I’m a big fan of the dining hall hot sauces, mainly because I can’t eat a meal without them. Every plate of food needs to be absolutely smothered in sauce that covers up whatever food is on it and leaves my mouth with a slight tingle. I hope this guide inspires you to make your own pit stops at the hot sauce stations around campus.
1. Cholula
Locations
: Only McEwen
Pros:
A gift from the McEwen gods. I cried spicy tears of joy when Cholula first showed up, and I have cherished it each day since. Delicious. Amazing. Fantastic. Easily the best hot sauce on this list.
Cons:
I could never criticize the actual sauce itself. If I’m being fair to the other sauces on this list though, Cholula only showed up this year, so maybe I just haven’t made myself sick of it yet.
Pairing:
This is my favorite lunch: a bowl of rice doused in Cholula topped with random things from the global foods bar (weird shrimp tacos, little falafels — you name it).
SHU (Scoville Heat Units):
1,000- 2,000. I do need some more heat, I can’t lie.
Fun Fact:
The Internet has theorized that the lady on the bottle was inspired by Bob Saget.
2. Frank’s Red Hot
Locations:
McEwen and Commons
Pros:
Goes with literally everything. It has a strong enough taste that it can cover up nearly anything the dining halls can throw at you. I had to take a break from my Frank’s because I went a solid two months where everything I ate was absolutely drenched in it.
Cons:
For a hot sauce that has the color of a stop sign, it’s not even that spicy. Sometimes the smell of the sauce is stronger than the taste.
Pairing:
Some scrambled eggs with a heavy-handed dash of Frank’s will always be the best breakfast.
SHU:
450
Fun Fact:
In 2020, Dunkin’ Donuts partnered with Frank’s and put out a donut with apple raspberry jam filling and a white icing with Frank’s drizzled over.
3. Tabasco Red Pepper Sauce
Locations:
McEwen and Commons
Pros:
Vinegary goodness. Not the strongest flavor, but it’s a reliable friend that will always be there. Seems more sophisticated than Frank’s for some reason? The hot sauce for the elevated palate.
Cons:
Doesn’t cover up the flavors of food quite enough for me. My hot sauce needs to become the flavor of the meal, and Tabasco takes a bit of a back seat to some much more questionable tastes. Still not quite spicy enough.
Pairing:
Back when the taco bar was still around at Mcewen (a moment of silence for the passing of a reliable friend), every taco I ate was 25% Tabasco.
SHU:
2,500–5,000
Fun Fact:
In 2018, for the 150 year anniversary of Tabasco, the New Orleans opera put on a Tabasco themed opera about a sailor’s quest for something spicy where Tabasco saves the day.
4. Tabasco Chipotle Pepper Sauce
Locations:
Maybe McEwen? Maybe Commons?
Pros:
I wouldn’t know. I don’t use this hot sauce, because the Red Pepper Sauce is simply a better counterpart.
Cons:
Takes up space on the hot sauce bar that could be given to something yummier.
Pairing
: The trash can (sorry that’s harsh. Tabasco Chipotle Pepper Sauce, it’s nothing personal).w
SHU:
1,500–2,500 (weak)
Fun Fact:
Piggybacks off the fame of the Tabasco name.
If anyone with any sway happens to read this article, please bring back Old Bay Hot Sauce. The three days you had it were the best dining hall days ever. Take the Chipotle Pepper Sauce away and give us Old Bay. For everyone else, I expect that from now on, the ratio of hot sauce to food on your plate will be 2:1. If not, what’s even the point of eating in McEwen or Commons?