Phil Jackson, Gregg Popovich, Coach Krzyzewski, and LaVar Ball — this list encompasses the Mount Rushmore of basketball geniuses. You may think that Ball does not deserve to be recognized next to the 11-time NBA champion and offensive innovator, or the current active NBA coaching wins leader, or even the five-time NCAA national champion who has won over 1,000 games at the helm of Duke’s monolithic basketball program. I beg to differ. Ball has created an empire focused on his three sons, none of whom are legally old enough to order a beer at the Village Tavern. Lonzo, LiAngelo, and LaMelo have already been pegged as the future of the basketball, while the outrageous personality of their father has fueled the Big Baller Brand, a rising force in sports apparel.
On June 22, 2017, LaVar’s vision played out to perfection when Lonzo was selected by his hometown Los Angeles Lakers. Already at the forefront of media attention for his inflammatory comments surrounding his supposed ability to beat Michael Jordan in a game of one on one, LaVar stole the spotlight on
ESPN
on draft night. LaVar was interviewed while sporting a Laker-themed Big Baller Brand hat, asserting that he had had that hat made when Lonzo “was a baby.” Impossible, but I love it. Putting a microphone in LaVar’s face is a one-way ticket to an irresistible electric factory, as the NBA’s ultimate puppet master claimed he would absolutely be able to ensure that both LiAngelo and LaMelo would join Lonzo on the Lakers after serving their required year at UCLA. When the reporter had the audacity to ask how LaVar could promise all this, he simply side-eyed his interviewer and responded, “Ball control.” LaVar had been waiting his entire life to whip that phrase out on live TV, and he executed it to perfection, capturing his shining moment in the spotlight.
“Ball control” has become an all-encompassing summation of LaVar’s marketing of the talent of his sons. Both Lonzo and LaMelo have their own signature shoe through Big Baller Brand (for a hefty price of nearly 500 dollars a pair); the family has its own reality show available through Facebook called “Ball in the Family,” and LaVar has successfully operated several pop-up shop locations to push his over-priced sports apparel. Despite steep price tags, the Big Baller Brand swag sells like hotcakes because, deep down, everybody wants to be a Big Baller. The Balls’ show on Facebook showcases how truly boring Melo, Gelo, and Zo are, while showcasing the exuberance and quirkiness of their father, the true star of the show. LaVar’s personality has been increasingly refined as a national treasure through consistent appearances on
SportsCenter
and other sports talk shows. Nothing swayed my allegiance more to the cult of LaVar than his appearance on World Wrestling Entertainment Raw, where the Ball patriarch executed what can only be described as the most bizarre entrance of all time to the wrestling ring, before quickly disrobing and performing some sort of tai chi movement to “intimidate” professional wrestler The Miz. Lavar is absolutely bananas in the best imaginable sense.
LaVar has remained consistently in the spotlight since Lonzo’s first game at UCLA, but the most recent development in the Ball saga has truly shown the influence of the Ball name and the cult of the Big Baller Brand.
On Nov. 7, 2017, LiAngelo was arrested for shoplifting in Hangzhou, China when his collegiate team travelled abroad to promote the image of NCAA basketball overseas. The middle Ball son was caught on video stealing a pair of sunglasses, along with two other UCLA teammates, from a Louis Vitton store in Hangzhou. LiAngelo’s arrest quickly blossomed into a national security crisis, where reports claimed a prison sentence up to 12 years could be handed down to LiAngelo and his Bruin buddies. Naturally, LaVar had tagged along — as had 16 year-old LaMelo — on the trip to organize pop-up stores featuring exclusive Big Baller Brand merchandise. When the situation settled, LiAngelo was placed on house arrest in his hotel. Nevertheless, the LaVar show must go on, and ignoring his distressed son, LaVar did not hesitate to carry out his business plan that necessitated the opening of a pop-up in Shanghai.
I am 90 percent confident that LaVar told his son to go out and get arrested in a foreign country. Would it really be that ridiculous of a strategy for the family who has seen nothing but immense profit from the incident? The least-known Ball brother, LiAngelo, was elevated to the center of the global news cycle, reminding us all that there is another member of LaVar’s lineage tearing up the NCAA this year. For the past week, every major sports media outlet has obsessed over LiAngelo’s release, proving that even though he is substantially less talented than his older brother, LiAngelo will be drafted in the first round this summer — most likely to the Lakers. Upon seeing the news about LiAngelo’s arrest, I immediately went on YouTube to find highlights of the middle Ball playing college hoops in the pre-season. I am pretty unimpressed by what I have seen so far, but I am certainly going to watch more than a rational amount of UCLA basketball simply to assess LiAngelo’s skill with my own eyes. Not only did LiAngelo captivate the attention of the global basketball public, but President Donald Trump even got involved in the “Free LiAngelo” campaign. Apparently, President Trump personally negotiated the release of the three UCLA players with Chinese President Xi Jingping. Even the President of the United States, the most powerful individual in the world, is involved in establishing the Ball legacy. Ball Control is making waves even in the Oval Office.
Being a parent of a youth athlete represents a difficult balance for most, where encouragement is mandatory but over-involvement is frowned upon. We have all witnessed parents screaming at their children in a recreational soccer match, or a parent raving about professional aspirations for a child who looks disengaged and lacks talent. LaVar was not content to sit idly by and allow his children to develop naturally; he bought into a destiny where his children brought him immense glory, wealth, and power. LaVar has made this wild dream a reality. While many of his actions and statements may make us cringe in embarrassment, or laugh in disbelief, it is undeniable that LaVar has found a way to make all of his visions come true. Who is to say that he cannot beat Jordan in a one-on-one game? Who can confidently say that the Lakers will never win a title with Lonzo at the helm? Is it inconceivable that Lonzo is substantially better than Stephen Curry? Well, that might be a slight stretch.
LaVar Ball is playing four-dimensional chess. He has captured the fixation of the American public while lining his pocket with the profits of his ventures, developing a triumvirate of talent in his household to fulfill his vision of fortune and fame. As basketball fans, we must all applaud the self-proclaimed genius of LaVar. Whether you despise how LaVar emboldens parents in youth athletics to be obnoxious, absurd, and exploitative, LaVar Ball and his three sons are the present and future of basketball, and will continue captivate a global audience for decades to come. We must all accept and celebrate our inner Big Baller.
