We know you missed us last week, but don’t fret! We’re back with what you have all been waiting for. So sit back, grab an apple cider donut, and enjoy.

Aquarius

(January 20th-February 18th)

Your room is complete, the posters are up, now sit back and relax. Well, maybe not relax just yet, you still have an essay, two tests, a paper that makes no sense, and a quiz left this week. But hey, the week is almost over and Euphoria mac and cheese fills the void.

Pisces

(February 19th-March 20th)

A queen among us has recently passed. We mourn her loss. We thank her for everything she has done for this country and for the legacy she will leave behind. We love and miss you RBG.

Aries

(March 21-April 19th)

Hey, now. Just because you take a picture next to a tree that has leaves that are changing their color, doesn’t mean you’re *artsy. Well, maybe. Put it on Vsco and let the people decide. Who are we kidding? It’s probably on Vsco already.

Taurus

(April 20th-May 20th)

Lighting a candle in your room doesn’t make all your problems go away. Will your room smell good? Yes. Will you be caught for a fire violation? Well, probably not. Will your work get done? Eh, maybe? Go grind some then put on some Bob Dylan and vibe to that sweet nectarous smell of that fall apple cider winter birch cinnamon donut candle.

Gemini (

May 21st-June 20th)

Stop ordering stuff off of Amazon. Just stop. The USP guy does not appreciate it. Heck, the mail center definitely doesn’t. Find another outlet for your stress. Try taking a walk or running. Eat your feelings. Just stop panic ordering stuff from online. Your bank account will thank you.

Cancer

(June 21st-July 22nd)

I like the Hamilton masks. We do. Just maybe change up your rotation a bit. Or at least wash them. No, please wash them. Also, wash your sheets too. Ah shoot, the stars sound like your parents now. At least listen to us.

Leo

(July 21st-August 22nd)

This week has been an emotional rollercoaster but it’s okay it’s almost over! Chin up. All that’s left to do is proofread, submit that essay, light a candle for RBG, and drink some apple cider.

Virgo

(August 23rd-September 22nd)

I know that this week has felt like hell and endless and next week is no better, and honestly it probably won’t be. I would say give up but that’s not very inspirational. Maybe go try to take a glen walk and watch the leaves change. Or maybe try and have a conversation with an opus barista through the plexiglass just to feel something again. That’s all I got.

Libra

(September 23rd-October 22nd)

The warm weather that’s coming this weekend is a sign of the positive vibes about to fill your life. I say bop to some chill beats and enjoy the trees change colors. Fall is here and it’s time to enjoy it before the snow hits. Embrace it.

Scorpio

(October 23rd-November 21st)

Diversify your music taste. Try listening to some 100gecs and lofi beats. Change it up. I know the internal frat boy in you really just wants to rock out to Kanye but come on dude, you can do better. I promise you won’t regret it.

Sagittarius

(November 22nd-December 21st)

Your style? Wonderful. It’s finally Fall and I know you’ve been waiting for the moment to bring out your orange and brown color tones to match with the trees. Take an artsy Fall Instagram picture to change up the Cornfield photoshoots that have been filling your feed. It’s the perfect time to wear a chunky sweater and sip on Opus coffee. Live it up, kid.

Capricorn

(December 22nd-January 19th)

It’s officially time to rethink everything. Literally everything. Doubt yourself. Nothing you’re doing is going right, so maybe it’s time to step back and think about why that is. Honestly, just do better. Did you even call your mom this week? I didn’t think so. It’s time to reflect, rethink, and redo.