Thanksgiving, by definition, is a time for eating more than you should and gaining way too much weight. In these final few weeks before winter break, extra pounds may keep you warm but they might not look too nice if you are headed to a warm vacation spot. Here are a few ways to shed the pounds, just in time for the next homemade food-filled break.
Buy pants three sizes up
Walk into your favorite clothing store and pick a pair of pants off the hanger that is many sizes bigger. Those extra inches will prevent the dreaded stomach bulge and have you forgetting that you had seconds from Thanksgiving and an extra piece of pie.
Study hard for finals
Spend 24 hours of the day studying and staying away from vending machines and dining halls. If the stress does not make you lose weight, then perhaps the lack of sleep will.
Go into hibernation
If you prefer sleep over 24/7 studying, research (which may or may not have been conducted by me) has shown that you can actually burn calories in your sleep. If you spend your waking minutes drinking water or using the facilities, then head right back to bed, your calorie intake will be significantly decreased. Sleep is good for the soul and the waistline.
Eat with your eyes closed
Eating with your eyes closed is like recreating one of those eat-in-the-dark restaurants for free! Less stress, less mess, and you’ll actually notice your food tastes better. Good luck trying to guess what that stringy thing stuck between your teeth really is.
Most importantly, if you cannot see what you are eating, then it’s basically like you’re not even eating all those Opus cookies you said you wouldn’t be eating after Thanksgiving. See no evil, eat no evil, right?
Break up with your significant other
Breaking up with your true love will guarantee losing at least 100+ pounds (or however much they weigh). As long as you do not lean on your good friends Ben and Jerry, the heaving of your shoulders and the trembling of your lip are sure-fire ways to shed the extra weight.
Get your body waxed
Stripping your skin of its facial hair is one thing, and getting rid of every hair on your body is another. Do you even know how heavy all of that unshaven winter leg hair is? Full-body waxing, painful as it is, is a one-and-done exofoliant and will leave your skin as soft as a baby’s bottom.
Wear shorts and tank tops in a blizzard
Beckon the balmy summer weather by wearing only skin-tight short sleeve shirts and shorts. Bathing suits encouraged for the overachievers. All of that shivering in the winter will surely shake off the extra pounds.
