“Don’t worry, be happy.” It’s a popular phrase that sounds simple enough, but in college, where academics, social life, extracurricularsand the uncertainty of the future pile up, happiness can feel out of reach. Today, it is normal to feel overwhelmed and angry. Coming out of an unprecedented pandemic, an increasingly polarized political climate and the rapid rise of technology, we face many factors that contribute to our stress. How, then, can we truly be happy? In her lecture, Dr. Laurie Santos addressed this question by sharing 10 science-backed strategies for living a more satisfying and fulfilling life, along with common misconceptions about what we believe makes us happy.
On Tuesday, Sept. 30, as part of the Plant Scientist Lecture Series, Hamilton welcomed renowned psychologist Dr. Santos to Wellin Hall. Santos is the Chandrika and Ranjan Tandon Professor of Psychology at Yale University. Her presentation, titled “Psychology and the Good Life,” was based on her groundbreaking Yale course exploring the science of happiness and well-being—the most popular course in the university’s 300-year history. Its widespread appeal led to the creation of “The Happiness Lab” podcast, which has been downloaded over 100 million times.
Dr. Santos became interested in the science of happiness, when, as a Head of College—a faculty member who lives on campus with students—she saw firsthand the serious mental health challenges students were facing, not just at Yale, but nationally. She shared disturbing statistics from the most recent version of the 2019 National College Health Assessment and noted that the situation has only gotten worse, where in 2025, our mental health has turned into a “dumpster fire.”
The report revealed that many college students struggle with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and other mental health concerns. For example, more than two-thirds of students nationwide reported experiencing overwhelming anxiety, and many said they felt very lonely—both rated at the highest levels possible on the survey’s scale. Santos explained that in the field of positive psychology, there’s a “whole host of strategies we can be using to feel better.” Therefore, she designed a new, practical course at Yale to help students and educate them about tools that support well-being.
Dr. Santos explained that the goal of her talk was to provide a brief version of the class she teaches at Yale (essentially an Ivy League course offered completely for free!). She shared a list of practical and relevant strategies that anyone can use.
#1: Prioritize happiness to perform better.
“The science shows that if you really want to perform better, you have to prioritize your happiness,” Santos said. A common misconception is that we can perform better by sacrificing our mental health and that happiness will follow. However, it’s important to understand that this relationship works the other way around: happiness should come first.
Santos shared scientific evidence supporting this idea. She highlighted research by late Ed Diener, who used a longitudinal study measuring first-year college students’ cheerfulness. The study found that cheerfulness at age 18 predicts not only whether you have a job in your 20s and 30s, but also “whether you like your job, whether your supervisor says you’re doing well and how much money you’re making,” Santos explained. Another study Santos discussed involved medical doctors. Those who were put in a good mood were able to come up with the most innovative solutions to solving challenging diagnostic problems. Santos summed it up by saying, “Our happiness and our mood levels affect our cognition.”
#2: Happiness is more about being social than self-care.
Dr. Santos pointed out that we’re often led to believe happiness comes from focusing on ourselves. However, she explained the need to shift our focus to others. She said that “happy people are more social,” tend to spend more time with others and prioritize being with family and friends. In experiments where people were prompted to be more social, they also reported feeling happier.
Santos emphasized how “we need to start thinking about what we can do to help the happiness of other people.” In a study where people were given $20 to either spend on themselves or on others, those who spent the money on others reported being happier than those who spent it on themselves. Moreover, “We need to remember that the self-care trends we see on TikTok aren’t necessarily bad, but they come with an opportunity cost,” said Dr. Santos, noting that time spent on ourselves could also be used to help others and thus increase our happiness.
#3: Healthy habits matter more than you expect.
Dr. Santos emphasized the importance of exercise, explaining that studies suggest simply moving your body for 30 minutes a day can be as effective as antidepressants in reducing symptoms of depression. She also reminded the audience that sleep plays a crucial role in regulating mood and highlighted the importance of good sleep hygiene, such as keeping your phone away from your bed and using a traditional alarm clock instead. She cited a study in which students’ sleep was restricted for a week, resulting in significantly lower mood levels.
#4: Be in the present moment and savor the good things.
She underscored the importance of reducing mind-wandering, noting that it often makes us feel worse than staying focused, even if the task at hand is boring. Santos explained that one way to stay present is through savoring: noticing, paying attention to and describing what you’re doing in the moment. Another helpful practice is meditation, where “you commit intentionally to pay attention to one thing.” She added that even when your mind wanders during meditation, the act of gently bringing your focus back is good practice for staying on task.
Santos also addressed the issue of phone addiction, asking, “How can we develop a better relationship with our technology so that we can stay present?” Drawing from Catherine Price’s book, How to Break Up With Your Phone, she emphasized the importance of pausing to ask yourself: “What for? Why now? And what else?”
#5: Be in the present moment even if it feels bad.
Dr. Santos acknowledged that it’s normal not to feel great all the time, but suppressing those “yucky” emotions can have harmful consequences. “The key is not to avoid them, but to get through them,” she said. In one study she cited, participants who were instructed to suppress their emotions struggled to complete a cognitive task, and the act of suppression caused their bodies to feel more stressed.
Santos introduced a meditation practice called RAIN—an acronym for Recognize, Allow, Investigate and Nurture—as an effective tool for processing negative emotions. In this practice, you first recognize the emotion you’re experiencing, allow it to be present, investigate what’s happening in your body and then nurture yourself with care. “Negative emotions are often like a wave,” Santos explained. “When you pay attention to them, they will go up, but if you stick with them, they will actually press down in ways that you don’t really expect”—much like surfing a wave.
#6: Motivate yourself with self-compassion.
She illustrated the importance of self-compassion, particularly by talking to yourself in healthier ways. We often talk to ourselves overly harshly, like a “drill instructor” yelling at our face. However, according to science, this type of criticism and negative self-talk lowers our motivation and reduces our happiness. We can motivate ourselves more effectively by practicing self-compassion.
Self-compassion, which has been studied by Kristin Neff, includes mindfulness (mindfully noticing what is going on), common humanity (recognizing that our struggles are part of the human experience) and self-kindness (treating ourselves how we would treat a friend).
Santos said that “we often confuse self-compassion with self-indulgence” but reminded the audience that when we care for a friend, we don’t indulge them but help them problem-solve. Being self-compassionate toward yourself has many benefits, including less procrastination by getting the hard things done, and increasing your compassion toward others.
#7: Use healthier self-talk to manage stress.
According to Dr. Santos, “how we talk to ourselves about stress actually affects how we manage stress.” While we often believe stress is harmful, research shows it can actually be helpful. For example, if you have an upcoming exam and reframe your stress as something positive by telling yourself stress is “awesome,” this mindset can boost your performance. Further, “thinking that stress is boosting your performance changes the dynamics of your stress response,” Santos explained. In a study, participants who watched a video framing stress as good performed better and showed a lower hormonal stress response than those who viewed stress as bad.
#8: Find your purpose and focus on your signature strengths.
Signature strengths are universal across cultures and include traits like curiosity, leadership, hope, zest for life and many others. Dr. Santos explained that when you “engage your strength in your work, you wind up feeling more like your work is a calling.” Still, she acknowledged the challenge: “How can I bring modesty to my math homework or humor to this terrible problem set that I’m working on?” Psychologist Amy Wrzesniewski studied this through a practice called job crafting, where people take their existing job descriptions and creatively infuse them with their signature strengths. For example, she found that janitorial staff working in chemotherapy units viewed their roles not just as cleaning, but as bringing humor, ssocial intelligence and happiness to patients. Dr. Santos wrapped up her point by saying, “If hospital janitorial staff workers can do this, then you clearly can at Hamilton College” by finding purpose through your “own unique signature strengths and bringing those to the work you do.”
#9: Prioritize the fun each and every day.
“We often have leisure that feels enjoyable, but I would say it’s not usually very fun,” Santos remarked, giving the example of scrolling on TikTok, which mostly just uses up time. time. Moreover, Santos added, “when you have these rare moments of leisure time, you don’t actually spend them that well.” Psychologist and author Catherine Price breaks down fun into three parts: social connection, presence and playfulness. Playfulness means doing something simply because you want to, not for external rewards such as adding an activity to your resume. Studies show that the more college students play, the less stress they feel in the moment and the better coping strategies they develop later on, suggesting that “play might be this interesting way of fighting stress.”
However, Dr. Santos noted that finding time for play is a challenge. To help with this, Price suggests doing a “fun audit,” journaling about the last time you truly had fun and reflecting on the who, what, where and when of that moment. According to Dr. Santos, “The key is to then find ways to build in more events like this. You literally go into your Google Calendar and try to schedule these things.”
#10: Seek out more time affluence.
The last strategy Dr. Santos shared was about time affluence, “the subjective sense that you have lots of free time.” Time affluence is the opposite of “time famine,” where you feel like you’re “starving for time.” Santos explained that one way to gain more time affluence is to “objectively open up more time” by taking a break. Another way is “to make good use of the free time we actually have.” Surprisingly, Santos revealed that, according to surveys, young people today actually have more free time than past generations. However, this free time is often broken into small chunks, which researchers call “time confetti.” Because these chunks feel so small, people don’t think of them as valuable and don’t use them wisely. But these moments add up, and you can make good use of each one. To help with this, researchers suggest creating a “time confetti wishlist.” This is not a to-do list but rather a list of things you can do during small pockets of free time, such as a quick meditation, so you don’t just automatically turn to TikTok to pass the time.
Dr. Santos’s talk explored how brains often trick us. We hold onto certain beliefs about what makes us happy, but scientific studies demonstrate that many of these beliefs are actually false. Instead, research suggests that real happiness comes from prioritizing things that might seem counterintuitive to our goals.
Go to Trivia Night, laugh with your friends, take a break from studying and don’t be tempted to check your phone, not even just to read a text. Make every moment count by truly being present and having fun! Of course, none of this is easy. Everyone feels overwhelmed, stressed and unhappy at times. But if we can learn to accept those feelings, and find healthier, more productive ways to take care of ourselves, we might surprise ourselves and discover a deeper sense of fulfillment.
The James S. Plant Distinguished Scientist Lecture Series was established in 1987 through a gift from Dr. James S. Plant, a distinguished child psychiatrist and member of the Class of 1912. The series was created with the mission of bringing outstanding scientists to campus as guest lecturers.
