Okay, so it’s no secret that mental health has become a pervasive issue both on this campus and nationwide. But let’s talk about how this topic intersects with another one that is frequently discussed on campus: sex and hookup culture.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) can be an effective way to help manage anxiety or depression in combination with therapy. In fact, according to The
New York Times
, up to 30 percent of college students take these medications, nearly tripling usage in the past twenty years.
These drugs work by increasing the function of nerve cells in the brain. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that is released when signals are sent between brain cells. When the serotonin is reabsorbed into the brain cell, this process is called “reuptake.”
Basically, SSRIs slow the reuptake process, allowing for the neurotransmitter to build and be more available so that signals can be properly sent throughout the brain. SSRIs can be immensely beneficial to those who take them, but do have some significant side effects. The most prevalent side effect, especially in young adults, is the inhibition of sexual desire and function.
This side effect can manifest itself in many different ways, and sometimes not at all. The most common ways this is experienced is in difficulty becoming aroused or achieving orgasm. For women, this may mean that you have trouble producing naturally occurring lubrication, making penetrative sex painful.
For men, it may mean that you have trouble getting or maintaining an erection. For both parties, it can mean that you struggle to have an orgasm, or that your libido is inconsistent. So how do you mitigate these issues?
Foreplay.
Foreplay. Fore- play! The importance of this cannot be understated. Think you’ve done enough? Do more. Trust me.
Lube
. Lube is absolutely your best friend (really in any sexual scenario). If you’re just not getting wet, this can make penetration much less painful, and initial foreplay a lot smoother. I know that there can be a stigma about using lube as a heterosexual couple — that it signifies that something is “wrong” with your body because you can’t be wet enough on your own, but realistically, 99 percent of the time lube is an underutilized necessity. There are lots of different kinds, including: water-based, silicone-based, and flavored, among others. I would recommend starting with a water-based one, as it’s not too messy and washes out of your sheets easily.
Patience
. This is an important one. Be patient with yourself and your partner. It’s okay to not be in the mood every night. Your libido can vary greatly when you take SSRIs, which can also greatly affect your level of arousal. Taking some time to experiment with yourself can be helpful to figure out what does or does not turn you on. No matter what, it takes time to figure these things out. Listen to your body. Pushing through the discomfort just because your partner wants to have sex is not the thing to do.
Communication.
If you feel comfortable doing so, have a conversation with your partner about the fact that you take SSRIs and how they affect your sex life. It may be awkward and uncomfortable at first, but it can help open lines of communication that make you exponentially more comfortable and sex more enjoyable. Helping your partner understand what you need when you’re having sex will make the experience better for the both of you.
It may also make you feel less anxious if you were afraid that your partner didn’t think you were attracted to them because you weren’t getting aroused. Having these conversations can help your partner better understand the way your body works, and this will lead to a better experience overall.
All in all, everyone experiences these side effects differently. The most important thing to remember is that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you feel more mentally and physically well when taking SSRIs, then that’s all that matters. Figuring out how to have sex that is best for both you and your partner will come with time (pun intended).
