The FAQs followed by the rudimentary commentary every time I tell someone where I am from are all the same: “Why would you leave your home to be here right now?” “What made you come here of all places?” “I hope you have a good coat for the winter.” Answering the four w’s has somewhat become part of routine. Why this, why that… well, from where I sit, I have always tried to avoid the “what ifs” or “could haves” and have learned to stick with, “why nots.”
My name is Savannah Roberts, and I am lucky enough to say that I was born and raised in The Bahamas. If you know me, you know I rep my country like no other. I now wrestle with the fact that I chose to leave it behind. The truth is, I’ve been doing this “away from home thing” for a while now. Not everyone can say they’ve found homes away from home. I’ve had many with the people I’ve met since leaving the sandy shores at the age of 14. You learn a lot about yourself when you spend a lot of time away from the people who’ve shaped and guided you since birth. Waxing honest with you, I am indecisive. I’ve definitely wrestled with this over the years, but I can assure you at the age of 14 that I was sure about one thing; It was time to fly on my own for a bit — to find the power to mind my own ship.
I must give props to my childhood friends who inspired my decision to leave home. You see, in the eighth grade, they introduced me to the idea of boarding school. They were already in the midst of preparing to leave home to finish their high school careers studying in either the United States or Canada. I was for the most part content at home. I had a routine down. Some parts I loved, others not so much, but it was ingrained in me. My 14- year-old self could not seem to wrap my head around the concept of them leaving. Thinking about them not being home, made me feel as though I was missing out on something. I was intrigued about what was “out there.” I’ll keep it pithy. Ultimately, the decision to leave was my own. It was not my parents decision nor anyone else’s. My family thought I was crazy because their understanding of boarding school was very narrow. To them it was a place for children who come from broken families, had social issues and things to that effect; granted, for some that may have been the case, but to me, all I saw was an opportunity. Thankfully, I did my research, prepped, applied, and waited for the responses of either acceptance or denial. Although boarding school was not on my parents radar, they backed my decision and yearning to try, and later that August, I embarked on my journey.
In the boarding school environment, I found a backbone in the groups of people I was befriending. I did not realize how much people could make a place feel like home. To be quite honest, I don’t think I have felt any heartache after the day I left… since the day I played my last tennis match with my team, ate my last dinner in the dining hall with friends, watched my last sunrise and sunset alongside my entire class. Laughing and reminiscing among the people for what would be the last time, made me realize how blessed I was. I knew I had a family forever and that a lot of the friendships I had formed were bound to last. Being in a confined space makes you have to work together with people, whether that be through a problem in class or socially. I did not realize that trading in my sun, sand, sea, and everyday routine, would afford me the opportunity to add to the list of friends that influenced my decision to go off and expand on the very hobbies and passions that I had and had yet to find. I learned the importance of communication, making connections very quickly. I learned what it is like to share a vision and integrity with others, to represent a school, and I cannot thank my parents enough for allowing me to take part in this experience. I would not trade it for anything.
When 12th grade hit though, my little indecisive friend returned. I had no idea what I wanted in a college. Going through the boarding school process beforehand, I knew it was a similar feel and I knew that the most important thing was fit. It is all about where you can see yourself. I was looking for the place I would be calling home for the next 4 years. All I knew was that I wanted to replicate that feeling of security, that feeling of belonging. I wanted to replicate the gut feeling I had when I accepted my letter in choosing where I would complete my high school education. Again, I did my research, prepped, applied and awaited for responses of either acceptance or denial. Today, I am a Continental.
I came to Hamilton College with the hopes of finding my thing. While I have always been driven, I have to admit I do not think I have really ever been infatuated with one thing in particular that I know I’d want to pursue for the rest of my life. People tell me I have time, but I cannot help but feel like I am running out of it. I cannot help but feel like everyone else around me has it together while I am still trying to pick up and connect the pieces. I believed that Hamilton College would be the fit for the indecisiveness in me, as it would allow me to explore different realms in my own time and, hopefully, to figure out that thing that has been waiting for me to see it all along. I just know that I love being surrounded by people instead of being alone on my own (most of the time). I just know that I love being there for the people around me, lending a hand, making sure that I can be a person which they can come to for ease of worry. Unfortunately, kindness and the inability to keep still is not a profession. That is just the way I am.
Hamilton College is the place where I can figure out just the person I ought to be. From where I sit, perhaps… I think it’s time I stand.
