W

hile the “ICE CREAM FOR EVERY MEAL” sign you saw driving up the Hill on Tuesday might have been your one point of comfort during the insanity of move-in day, I’m sure we can all agree that, yes, even college students would get sick of ice cream after having it for every meal. You may be surprised to find out that Hamilton does, in fact, provide more than just ice cream for your dining needs. So, newest members of the Hamily, here is your exclusive guide to all of the best Hammy noms.

Let’s start off with the most important meal of the day — breakfast. Breakfast is by far the best meal Bon Appetit provides, and you can’t go too wrong no matter where you have it. However, a caveat — Commons and McEwen stop serving breakfast at 10 a.m., meaning the whole “lite breakfast from 10 a.m.-11 a.m.” is total baloney. After 10 a.m., you have bagels, fruit and cereal and that’s about it. But what if you don’t start class until 11 a.m., there’s no way you’ll be able to get breakfast before 10 a.m.? The Howard Diner serves breakfast from 9 a.m. until 11 a.m. and the line moves usually pretty fast at that time.

Scheduling aside, what can you expect from breakfast? Commons always has custom omelets (or, if you prefer scrambled eggs like me, any kind of eggs with an assortment of veggies, proteins and cheeses). McEwen has omelets twice a week — the other two days, it has Belgian waffles (a weekend brunch staple). The hot bars in both dining halls are pretty similar, although McEwen tends to have bacon more often (which is obviously superior to sausage links).

The Diner is an entirely different experience in of itself: it offers lots of incredible, greasy favorites like a bacon-egg-and-cheese on a everything bagel, or the Bacon Mess, one of Hamilton’s greatest mysteries.

Opus 1 and 2 serve lunch during the weekdays, but they do not accept meal swipes. In addition to their cookies and coffee, a must-have meal at Opus is the Mango Brie Panini. If you want one, line up at the crack of dawn, because they sell out fast. Opus I also does Sunday brunch (the saving grace of lazy, overtired darksiders).

Now let’s talk lunch and dinner in the main dining halls. I’m grouping these two together because, even though options will vary depending on the dining hall and the meal, one’s approach to these meals is essentially the same. Commons has the most options: a decked out deli bar, as well as some pretty artisanal sandwiches from time to time (we’re talking goat cheese, avocado, prosciutto, etc.). They also offer hand-rolled sushi, a noodle bar and, occasionally, a caesar salad station during lunch hours. During dinner, they pack up the sushi and swap out the noodle bar for a pasta station.

McEwen, billed as a “greener option,” perhaps is better classified as a more “global option,” as it hosts a rotating “home” hot bar, in addition to a rotating “global” hot bar. McEwen also has repeat favorites, like blue cheese burgers and a baked potato bar (which, yes, might be Hamilton’s single greatest accomplishment). McEwen also has a custom juice and smoothie bar for all meals; I highly recommend carrots, oranges, and strawberries.

The Diner has the same menu from 11 a.m. to midnight, and it’s all good. What’s great about Diner is that it’s open so late, so if you for example take a poorly timed evening nap and wake up after normal dining hours, you can always grab some 9 p.m. buff chicken fingers with honey mustard at diner.

And no guide to Hamilton dining halls would be complete without discussing the fourth, and undoubtedly best, meal of the day — Diner B. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, from 12:30 a.m. to 3 a.m., the glorious Diner B serves its full breakfast menu, accepting Hill Cash or bonus swipes. The lines may be long, but nothing tastes better than bacon when you’re pulling a Thursday all-nighter or are stumbling around on a Saturday night (please stumble responsibly).

And the one thing you must always remember? Forks are a scarce commodity on the Hill — guard them with your life.