College Chaplain Jeff McArn is facilitating the Student Grief Group this semester, a role that has been filled by Peer Counselors in the past.

In addition to Chaplain McArn, this small group includes about five students and meets roughly twice a month. They have conversations about loss, the grieving process, and share personal stories. Past meetings have been held on Thursdays at 9 PM in the CJ Browsing Room.

This group was created to give students a safe space to share their personal stories and connect with others who are also grieving.

McArn says he hopes that students “bring the loss into the room and know that other people also have a story to tell, so it’s not just this focal point on you. The focal point is on this really mysterious, weird process.”

McArn says some view the topics covered by the group as intimidating or daunting.

“It is something that is deeply personal, and it is hard to talk to friends after a certain point, and it’s hard to open up in any dimension to people that are going to be gathered in a room together for this purpose,” he said.

In response to this challenge, McArn offers some potential solutions for upcoming semesters. For students looking to come to meetings, he says, “One possible step is meeting with students beforehand to give a little description of what would be involved and who would be there.” Another potential solution is to encourage students to “just come with a friend who hasn’t necessarily experienced a loss, but who is just is there to support. That might make it easier.”

This group does not have a religious focus in an effort to be inclusive of any and all students on campus who might want to attend these meetings. McArn says that he believes “the experience of death is a human reality […] but I think it’s important not to engage religious categories in this setting; it just doesn’t make sense. This experience of loss is the most real thing that can happen to you. You know that you’ve been in touch with something real.

“That’s really sobering; it makes you think about things differently. I think it’s at least important to process it however you can, with whatever people make sense for you to process it with.”

The Student Grief Support Group is open to any students who have experienced a loss, no matter how long ago it was. Although “it’s hard to come into a group of people you may not know,” McArn has observed that members of the group build trust and establish a rapport over time. One of the ultimate goals is to have the students be able to talk and help each other.

Admittedly, McArn says it is hard work to facilitate such a group and is not something that leaves a “warm fuzzy feeling inside.” At the same time, he acknowledges that “it’s a need that I know exists on campus.”